A Washington University School of Medicine study of 138,000 Medicare beneficiaries diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 2002 found that 64 percent died within six years of diagnosis. “After adjusting the data for age, race, and sex, people with Parkinson’s had a nearly four times greater risk of death than people with no disease and nearly double the risk of death than for those living with other common diseases such as colorectal cancer, stroke and ischemic heart disease. People with Parkinson’s had nearly the same risk of death as those who had experienced a heart attack or suffered a hip fracture.” The Parkinson’s Disease Foundation website.
I’m sure that my beliefs about death will change as I continue to age and get closer to dying. So why write about it? It took Parkinson’s to make me accept that I am going to die. It’s not that I thought I was immortal. I just didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about death. Death and dying would come into my mind but I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. I would just stop thinking about it. Since my Parkinson’s progressed I fully accept that I am going to die. It was not something I thought much about. I was aware of death but only as an elusive shadow in my mind. It was there but not there. I am not sure what that means but the possibility of death now exists for me. Death. The D is strong, definite. The TH is soft, lingers for a moment then ends completely. Death. I hear the word and now consider it. Life ends. Don’t misunderstand me. I am not attracted to it or looking forward to dying. I am not particularly worried about it or depressed. My attitude is pretty good but I now know death exists. It is there.
Does Parkinson’s kill you? Here is some medical mumbo jumbo. Parkinson’s “itself is not fatal. However, related complications can reduce life expectancy.” Parkinson’s doesn’t kill you but “Patients with PD have a somewhat shorter life span compared with healthy individuals that belong to the same age group.” Or how about “While Parkinson’s does not directly result in a terminal diagnosis, as symptoms worsen, complications can arise, threatening the patient’s health sometimes becoming fatal.” Despite their own studies and statements, the medical profession continues to claim that Parkinson’s doesn’t kill you. Nonsense was the common response of almost every PWP I talked to. So what is the disconnect here?
Do life insurance rates go up? Yes. Does life expectancy go down? Yes. Does end stage Parkinson’s exist? Yes. Can you get long term care insurance if you are diagnosed with PD? No. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) states that complications from PD is the 14th leading cause of death in the United States. My answer. PD chips away at your life a little more each day and finally kills you and even if it doesn’t kill you, PD is a life sentence without chance of parole. This may be hard to take but living with Parkinson’s seemed to clear my mind, strengthen me to see things as they are, and accept the reality of what is.
Parkinson’s is a great teacher. It prepares us for death. We learn to see death as an end to suffering. An escape from the progressive torment of PD. So yes, PD does kill you but it is comforting to know that there is an end to the misery of Parkinson’s, a way out. I am not looking forward to dying but probably won’t rage against it and instead be more willing to go gently into that good night.
