The Parkinson's Diet

It’s going viral, the newest sensation that’s sweeping the nation. From New York to LA anfrom Miami to Hollywood. All the A list stars, all the top actors and athletes, and especially the top super models have hired personal trainers to prepare meals and coach them in the principles of the Parkinson’s Diet. The more dedicated are even asking their doctor to prescribe pills to inhibit dopamine production.

You’ve read the Parkinson’s Diet Handbook, over 20 million copies sold. Now the restaurant chain, Parky’s Place, is quickly spreading across America and beginning to penetrate the European and the Asian markets although for some reason it seems to be having trouble catching on in third world countries. There is a six month wait list for a reservation. The hippest thing to casually drop into a conversation and the hottest tweet is guess who I saw at Parky’s Place last night.

Prepare yourself for a unique experience. There is no silverware at Parky’s Place. All food is eaten with your hands so get into it. Upon being seated at your table the waitperson will present you with a small pill, often served on a silver tray, that inhibits dopamine production and enables the true Parkie experience. He will then ask if you are considering the lobster which is code for do you want a bib to protect your clothes from spills. You can drink as much alcohol as you want but wine is served in a glass only half full and comes with a straw. All mixed drinks are James Bonded, shaken not stirred. Shot glasses are verboten.

The rich and famous love eating with their hands although the tremor canceling Google Spoon can be purchased for use. Soup is drunk straight from the bowl. Sandwiches for the tame but nothing beats grabbing a whole leg of lamb or ripping a tender juicy steak apart with your bare hands and don’t forget to lick your fingers after the mashed potatoes and gravy. Dessert, try something wiggly like jello although creamy cakes are a favorite. Said one model, I’ve been dieting and watching my weight for years but at Parky’s Place I can shovel all the cake into my mouth that I can get my hands on and not gain a pound.

Pictures of the rich and famous eating at Parky’s Place are appearing in all the media and testimonials are rolling in. Bibs of the more famous are signed and hung on the wall. “To Parky’s Place with all my love” wrote a top model. “I couldn’t have done it without you. I lost 20 pounds since going on the Parkinson’s diet and I’m still shaking all over” said another. Lets be honest, can we talk here. Have you ever seen a 300 pound person with Parkinson’s?